urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl Megan Megan 2007-05-31T03:06:29Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:72925 2007-05-31T03:06:29Z 2007-05-31T03:06:29Z &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; How do you trust someone again after they've hurt you so much? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:72389 2007-04-22T06:58:17Z 2007-04-22T06:58:17Z Lithium, Evenescense <font color="#333399" size="2">Everything happens for a reson. My mom used to always tell me to try to look at the brighter side of things. Whenever I wouldn't talk to Mike for weeks on end and I would get scared... she would remind me that no news was good news and things would be fine. Love was something I was taught to cherish at a young age. I felt it early on and witnessed the good and bad points of it. I always wanted to be in love. Couldn't wait to wake up next to someone and know that I was loved all through out the day. I loved the cuddles in front of the TV on a cold day... wrestling around on the bed....taking showers together...cake / whipped creme / shaving gel / toothpaste fights.... Every second of it. <br /><br />I am almost 21 years old... and I haven't been single since I was 13. I always left the person I was with.. I had my reasons for each one. And always jumped feet first into a new relationship with someone I thought was better. Sometimes I was right... but sometimes I was wrong. I have just experianced my first real breakup. The pain at points was/is unbearable.. but then the other times... I'm optimistic. This is my chance to be single... go to college, spend time with the girls, have some freedom. Maybe even make a few more mistakes. Sounds great doesnt it. This is what I want. I know it is... so why can't I let go of the past? <br /><br />I thought Tony was the love of my life. I looked at him and my face lit up. I could actually feel it. He always made me smile and laugh. He helped me through the hardest year of my life and no matter what happens he will always be in my heart because of that. We faught... not more than any other couple, but we faught. There were things about him that I couldn't stand.. But I still loved him. Its one of those situations where.. if I had known that would have been our last night together..I wouldnt have wanted to get out of bed. It doesnt make it any easier when I have heard him say that he isnt happy without me, that he misses me and still loves me. I'm not ready to let him go, and yet I have to. I'm leaving the state of Nebraska on Wed at 5am. I'm going to stay with some family until I can get my own place. I can only hope that we can say goodbye. <br /><br />Just goes to show that things arent always what they seem... and prince charming is human underneath his shinning armor. Things are better this way... .and it really only hurts sometimes. It hurts because I know he is a mile down the road and I'm online and know when he isn't there... It will get easier. I have every intention of going to college to be a nurse, and moving on wiht my life. <br /><br />I have to learn that my life doestn just end when things like this happen. I'm growing up, I'm finishing school, and I'm going to do what is right for me for once. No more tears... no more waiting on him to show up.. no more caring... Brick walls are being put up. Its time to let go. Anyone know how to do that? <br /></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:71751 2006-10-22T01:56:26Z 2006-10-22T01:56:26Z I dont know what to do anymore... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:71456 2006-09-03T08:06:20Z 2006-09-03T08:06:20Z Ok So I should update....<br /><br /><br />No pregnancy... *thank god* not that I wouldn't love a baby.. but lets face it.. I don't need another on right now. <br /><br />I have a job at Days Inn working the front desk. Its a min. wage job.. but it helps I suppose. I like it ok.. I mostly work nights so all I have to do is basic cleaning and maybe a few check ins. Plus I get to check my email while I work. But.. I'm not suppose to. *wink*<br /><br />My birthday was rather bland. I helped out a friend at work, and she agreed to get me drunk. I had a few beers, and hardly had a buzz.... and went to bed. Tony asked me to marry him. I was really upset about it. We were sitting on the porch he was behind me with his arms around me and I was sitting between his legs on the stair below him. He just blurted it out.. <br />Tony: "Hey, guess what?"<br />Me: "what?"<br />Tony: "Will you marry me?"<br />Me: "yes"<br />Tony: "see I told you I would ask you soon."<br /> a few seconds go by...<br />Tony: blah blah blah something about Jedi mud.<br /><br /><br />I was almost in tears. I knew he was going to ask me.. and had it all set in my mind that it would be something heartfelt and romantic and I get that. I said maybe two words for the next 45 minutes before I burst into tears about how horrible that was and how he didnt love me and all that. The look on his face made me cry more. I felt horrible for wanting more than that.. but I couldn't help it. He told me he was sorry and that he couldnt afford the ring I wanted but would get it for me soon and ask me again in a better way. So I am "engaged" kinda.. <br />I know, I know... you are all going.. "here she goes again" I'm not rushing into this. We did pick a date which is Feb. 23rd 2007. That is 2 years after our first kiss. That will give us plenty of time to plan and think it through. <br /><br />Darcie started pre-school. She loves is and is really excited about it. She calls me and tells me about it... and counts to me in spanish, japanise ( i know thats wrong ) and english.. so her teacher is going to teach her to count in German also. I'm like OMG shes only 4. Paige is talking pretty well now. She wont talk to me alot on the phone yet but she says "hi, bye and I love you" thats about all I can get out of her. Peyton just had her 4 month shots on the 29th, she was really not happy about it and screamed like a newborn to let me and everyone in the clinic know. I can't remember off hand how much she weighs.. but she's a chunker for sure. <br /><br />Nic is being an ass hole and I really wish all the custody crap with Peyton was over so I could leave and he could leave me alone!! I swear the only good things to come out of that relationship are Peyton and Tony. Ok that sounds weird.. but its true.<br /><br />My friend Christin who has been dating Tony's older brother Andrew for two years.. is pregnant again in due sometime early next year. She and Andrew had a baby girl Abigail Paige in January. A few other friends had baby boys. Andrew and Christina had a baby boy named Seth something... and Cami had a baby boy Hunter Reid.<br /><br />Anyway.. thats all I really have to report. :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:70118 2006-06-29T19:18:42Z 2006-06-29T19:18:42Z <br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0655.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0656.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0657.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0658.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0654.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0653.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0650.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0652.jpg" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:69790 2006-06-27T03:30:30Z 2006-06-27T03:30:30Z Dont have alot of Peyton... but here is one. <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0620.jpg" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:69521 2006-06-27T03:29:30Z 2006-06-27T03:29:30Z <a name="cutid1"></a><div class="ljcut" text="Pictures of Darcie and Paige">Paige <br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0204.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0200.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0255.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0278.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0289_1.jpg" /> <br /><br />Darcie<br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0285.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0129.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/100_0057.jpg" /></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:69201 2006-06-27T03:09:57Z 2006-06-27T03:09:57Z <a name="cutid1"></a><div class="ljcut" text="Drunken Photos...."><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0646.jpg" /> <br />Drunk Emery <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0644.jpg" /> <br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0642.jpg" /> <br /><br /><br /><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v163/infernosgirl/DSCF0639.jpg" /> <br /><br />Drunken Me and Tony</div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:69098 2006-06-26T08:49:39Z 2006-06-26T08:49:39Z www.myspace.com/meganknotts urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:68595 2006-06-22T05:22:34Z 2006-06-22T05:22:34Z So yeh... Nic got his nipples pierced yesterday, and a tattoo today. He made me mad that he was getting all these things and I didnt get anything. So I talked him into getting me a tattoo for my birthday next month, he just gave it to me a month in advance. :) Its cute.<br /><br />Lemme see, I get to see Ultarviolet this weekend.. <br /><br />Ok I have nothing to talk about.<br /><br />Tony and I are getting married on Jedimud Friday the 30th. Its gonna be cute. It fake before you all have a cow... its just on a game.. our chars will be married. <br /><br />I am running around in a tank top so it wont rub on my shoulder so much.. and I am freakin freezing. Its 70 degrees outside and somehow I'm cold. God I'm weird... <br /><br />I spent like 2 hours on the front porch talking to Tony about moving back to WV so dad and Tina can help me out a little.... but I dont want to leave Peyton. IDK. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:67959 2006-06-16T04:18:18Z 2006-06-16T04:18:18Z Ok so I have internet again... kinda. I will try to update more. But honestly there really isnt a whole lot going on. <br /><br />I've applied for a few jobs to try to get on my feet. No such luck. Nic is still lazy. He has had a job for a little less than a week and has already missed 2 days of work. One because he was hungover. He started smoking again.. after he bitched about Tony smoking. Go figure. <br /><br />Lets see... been on Jedimud on and off... mostly because in this house there isnt much else to do. Its do that or be bored to tears... literally.<br /><br />Darcie and Paige are good. They both had their birthdays in May. Dad put in a pool this year, Darcie wont get off the steps and Paige hates it. But they will get used to it eventually. <br /><br />Uhmm... Paige is growing like a weed. She had shots on Tuesday and the mean nurse did it herself so she had 4 pokes all at diffrent times instead of two at a time. Meany.<br /><br />Uhmmm..... I have nothing else to talk about. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:67689 2006-06-15T00:38:34Z 2006-06-15T00:38:34Z ok so would everyone think I was totally nuts if I get married next year? Feb 23rd actually?<br /><br />Tony told me he was going to ask me and I've even picked out the ring.... whatcha think?<br /><br /><br />Peyton is good.... cute as always. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:67338 2006-05-18T18:30:24Z 2006-05-18T18:30:24Z So yeah... lots to update<br /><br />I broke up with Nic. I'm dating a friend of his Tony.<br /><br />Peyton JoAnn Lang was born April 13th at 8:07am she was 6lbs 8oz and 19 1/2 inches.<br /><br />ok so maybe not alot to update.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:65615 2005-08-22T16:44:41Z 2005-08-22T16:44:41Z ok so got the job at walmart... cashier. I hate it. Oh well, its a job. <br /><br />Nic's birthday is monday (20) and wants a new tattoo to cover up a really crappy one on his back. So he is getting that, another gift and lots of birthday sex... (like you really wanted to know all of that) <br /><br />We met his birth mother on Saturday. She was really nice and seemed like she had a hard life. She and Nic hit it off really really well, so hopefully they will stay in touch. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:64623 2005-06-29T22:17:25Z 2005-06-29T22:17:25Z AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna kill him!! Stupid freakin men who do things to my stuff without fucking asking me first. DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:63437 2005-06-19T14:07:23Z 2005-06-19T14:07:23Z we won $500 on a $2 scratch ticket! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:61960 2005-06-04T02:01:43Z 2005-06-04T02:01:43Z from now on... I am keeping all of my posts friends only. Well most of you know why. So if you are reading this and arent on my friends list tell me and I will add you... :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:61780 2005-06-03T13:45:01Z 2005-06-03T13:45:01Z ok so I'm alive... and well. I'm back in WV until next weekend then I go back to Nebraska to settle a few things. I will be back in WV by July 13th because that is my divorce court date. Fun fun. I will give you more of a heads up on what all has happened when I have more time and am able. <br /> <br />On another note. I have been dating Nic (and no I DIDNT leave Mike for him) and he and I are happy. He was in the Army reserves but is getting ready to reenlist to active army in July (after the court date) <br /> <br />The girls are great. Darcie had her birthday on the 8th and Paige is now a year old. Her party is today actually. <br /> <br />Hugs and love to all.<br />Megan urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:61219 2005-04-04T17:16:21Z 2005-04-04T17:16:21Z I know everyone is against this... including myself at some points. But this is something I have to do. I've never done anything for myself or just because I wanted to. I leave for Nebraska tonight. I have no idea when I will be back on here.... but I loves you all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:60976 2005-03-29T23:55:49Z 2005-03-29T23:55:49Z <table width="400" align="center" border="1" bordercolor="black" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2"> <tr><td bgcolor="#CCFFFF" align="center"><br /><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style="color:black; font-size: 14pt;"><br />You Know You're From West Virginia When...</font></td></tr> <tr><td align="left" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><br /><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style="color:black; font-size: 10pt;"><br />You only knew one or two Republicans as you were growing up.<br /><br />You actually know someone who has sold their vote for a bottle of liquor.<br /><br />You've never seen a local ballot with anything but Democratic candidates.<br /><br />You think Senator Byrd should be nominated for Sainthood.<br /><br />You've seen Senator Byrd's name on a sign in front of a bridge or highway construction project.<br /><br />You know what commodity cheese is.<br /><br />You've been asked to give someone a ride to the post office on "check day."<br /><br />You know what "check day" is.<br /><br />You have avoided the post office on "check day."<br /><br />You've seen a picture of John L. Lewis hanging on someone's wall right between the picture of Jesus and JFK.<br /><br />You know who John L. Lewis is.<br /><br />You know what a Tipple is.<br /><br />You know what a slate dump is.<br /><br />You played on a slate dump as a kid.<br /><br />You know someone who actually did go to Pruntytown.<br /><br />She same guy got his head shaved and "fell down the steps" at the court house a couple of times before being sent off.<br /><br />Everyone who works at the court house is related to someone else who works<br />there.<br /><br />You sometimes call a paved road "the hard road."<br /><br />You know someone who has driven to a neighboring state to get "real beer" instead of the 3.2 stuff.<br /><br />You've bought fireworks from the same guy with the real beer.<br /><br />The state where this guy went might be called "O-hi."<br /><br />"Vacation" means driving through Wyatt on the way to Morgantown.<br /><br />Down south to you means Kentucky.<br /><br />Stores don't have bags; they have pokes.<br /><br />You cook green beans for hours.<br /><br />You know what a real tomato is, and have a recipe for candy ones.<br /><br />Your parents have threatened to have you sent to Pruntytown.<br /><br />You can watch someone order a hotdog and know in what part of the state they live. <br /><br />You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes.<br /><br />You know at least one couple who went to Virginia or Maryland to get married.<br /><br />You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.<br /><br />You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from West Virginia.<br /></font></td></tr></table><br /><br><br><br /><div align="center"><br /><b><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html">Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here</a></b><br /><br><br><br />More cool things for your blog at <br /><a href="http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings</a><br /></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:60665 2005-03-27T15:20:49Z 2005-03-27T15:20:49Z Happy Easter Everyone.... This is the first actual holiday without my mom.. I miss her. <br /><br />And do you think Mike would think of that...... nooooooooo! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:60179 2005-03-26T00:31:21Z 2005-03-26T00:31:21Z I have a secret!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:60019 2005-03-21T17:43:57Z 2005-03-21T17:43:57Z Friday - My step mom Tina came to get the girls at like 430. It was beautiful outside so I had the door open and did a few things around the house. I baked Mike's birthday cake... and it didnt turn out good at all. The icing was like chocolate milk. It was horrible. I had it all ready at 7 when he was to come home... and I forgot he wouldnt be home until 8. GRR. He was happy that I at least tried.<br /><br />Saturday - We got up and went to get gas and breakfast and Mickey D's. Then off to Clarksburg to the storage unit. We were there until dark cleaning things out and going through it all. I made out with alot of things. The dresser, the china cabinet, lots and lots of feton and things like that. Then we went to a friend of mines for dinner. Then she decided to come over to drink.. and had one drink and fell asleep. DOH!<br /><br />Sunday - Mike and I faught ALL DAY! We cleaned the car of its garbage and headed to my brothers dad's house. We get there and her step mom Joy fed us. :) We talked for a while. Then headed to Ohio. <br />We stopped at Starbucks for some coffee... yummy. Haven't had that since Va. We get there and go get Scotts dogs out of the kennel. He has two HUGE labs. A black and a silver lab. Then we went to get food and dropped Scott off at his house. Mike got to drive his explorer.. he was happy. Although he would have been happier to drive the Saab. We get the girls at like 930 and go home. <br /><br /> <br />Thats about it man. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:59513 2005-03-18T23:12:21Z 2005-03-18T23:12:21Z Help fight Autisum!! <br /><br /><a href="http://www.teddystown.com/teddyspuzzle.htm">http://www.teddystown.com/teddyspuzzle.htm</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:infernosgirl:59210 2005-03-16T16:56:30Z 2005-03-16T16:56:30Z I microwaved myself a bowl of chili. Well I was eating in the living room so I could keep an eye on Paige because if I take her into the dining room, she will eat the plants and my food and Darcie's food. So I try to keep her out of the dining room as much as possible. Anyway... Darcie wanted crackers. Well I sat my bowl down on the couch and went to get her the crackers. I figured it was far enough away that Paige wouldnt get it. Well I was in the kitchen and Paige started crying... I knew what happened.. She grabbed the bowl. So I called Mike home from work and we took her to the ER. She has 2nd degree on her right hand and a blister on her chin. Her left fingers are red, but dont look like they are going to blister. Shes ok. Needless to say... it really does only take a second.<br /><br />This happened on Monday.